Respect

What is respect? Some will tell you it is looking someone in the eye when they are talking to you, or when you shake their hand. Some will tell you it is opening the door for your mother, or any other woman or elder for that matter. But I don't think we should bestow the title of respect for these deeds. These kinds of things should be expected. these things can be called chivalry, or even common courtesy. They should not be elevated to the status of respect. In earlier times, "gentleman" was a way to describe someone, someone of higher social status. When you called someone a gentlemen, you were just stating a fact. Today, it is a compliment. Similarly, we have lowered the standard for "respect" so that most everybody can be labeled as "respectful". I hold a higher standard for respect. C.S. Lewis said something along these lines about a different word, but the principle still applies.

He said: "Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say 'infinitely' when you mean 'very'; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite."


Similarly, don't use the word "respect" when you mean "common courtesy" or "toleration (which, also, has become of lesser value)", otherwise you will have no word left when you want to talk about something truly respectful. 

We have lumped so many other things with 'respect' that it is hard, anymore, to distinguish what respect truly is. This is the dictionary definition of respect:

re·spect/riˈspekt/

Noun:	A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Verb:	Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Synonyms:	noun.  regard - esteem - reverence - deference - consideration verb.  honour - honor - esteem - regard - venerate - revere

I have respect for C.S. Lewis. Do I hold open the door for him? No, he is dead. Do I look him in the eye when I talk to him? No, he is dead, and I would have probably never had the chance to talk to him if we were alive at the same time. Rather, I have a deep admiration for him. What does this look like? Well, I read things he has written and when I listen to one of his speeches, I really listen with full attentiveness. I admire him because of his abilities and achievements. 

So now we know what respect is. What is disrespect? Let's say you are in an English class and you are supposed to read and write reviews for other peoples' stories. The teacher hands you a copy of someone else's story for you to read and write a critique on every day that you have class. If you do not write a critique or don't even bother to read, that is disrespect on many levels.     Disrespect towards the teacher because you couldn't care less about what your teacher says. And disrespect towards your classmate who wrote the story and read your story and wrote a critique on it because you couldn't take the time to read a write about the other student's story.

I believe there is another aspect to respect: non-respect. In this situation, non-respect would look like this: reading the story without marking it up and writing a critique without any critical thinking, making very vague remarks. That it non-respect. You are doing the work the teacher told you to do, but you don,t have the right attitude.

I think respect is all in the kind of attitude you have. You can hold the door open for someone just because you have to, or because you sincerely admire or love the person. In our world today, we see a lot of non-respect and disrespect. I want to see more respect.